


The Concerns of a Disturbed Mind

by NoGalraNoGlory



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety Disorder, House Party, Kairi & Riku (Kingdom Hearts) Friendship, M/M, Mentioned Axel (Kingdom Hearts), Mentioned Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Mutual Pining, Riku (Kingdom Hearts) Has Anxiety, Riku (Kingdom Hearts) In Love, Riku (Kingdom Hearts)-centric, Riku and Sora don’t know each other, Romantic Fluff, Sora & Kairi friendship (Kingdom Hearts), Sora knows pretty much everyone, Sora lives in a nice ass condo, except Riku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 13:30:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19870429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoGalraNoGlory/pseuds/NoGalraNoGlory
Summary: But no ― Kairi, that minx, persuaded him into going to her friend’s party.There was a pause and, like a flood, Riku’s anxiety backhanded him in the face.Whatever. Riku liked being alone. Others were too noisy.





	The Concerns of a Disturbed Mind

* * *

The last thing Riku wanted to do on a Saturday night was to head to a stupid college party. 

He could have done a million things that night in the span of hours the party consumed. For example, finishing that thesis that still needed a shit ton of fine tuning. Or, even better, calling his mother back after blowing off their regular Thursday video call, or beating Verum Rex! The possibilities were endless. But no ― Kairi, that minx, persuaded him into going to her friend’s party. Honestly, it’s a wonder how they even became friends in the first place. 

It’s a wonder how Riku ever made friends with _others_ in the first place. Horribly introverted and awkward, he always came off as scary and intimidating; it always took very special people to ‘adopt’ him, as Naminè liked to put it. 

Whatever. Riku liked being alone. Others were too noisy. 

But back to the topic of the cursed Saturday Night Party™. Riku vaguely remembered Kairi mentioning that it would only be a small party with her friends and people she knew. Nothing like those seriously overrated frat parties people like to mention all the time. Just a slightly crazy party that included all of Kairi’s ever-expanding social circle. No big deal. 

When it came to the night of, Kairi and Naminè invaded his comfy bachelor pad and dressed him in a ridiculously thin button-up shirt that had obnoxious light blue dots over its darker blue background. When Riku asked why in the hell they were dressing him, Kairi retorted back by saying his choice in clothing had always been atrocious and she simply would not allow it tonight. Tch. When does she ever? 

Riku was honestly quite surprised by the niceness of the house they drove to. It was a sleek condo with a nice little patio up by the top. By the master bedroom, he guessed. And Riku was even more surprised when they got to the condo’s door and were met by a big and buff guy with peachy skin and chestnut brown hair that looked like it was blown back by a hair dryer. 

He looked down at the three friends with a stony stare. 

“Name,” he gruffed out.

His? Pretty sure he wasn’t on whatever guest list this guy had but oh well. Riku opened his mouth but before he could say a word, Kairi stepped in. 

“It’s Kairi. I have Naminè and Riku with me.” She actually physically stepped in front of Riku, puffing out her chest as she talked to this guy who had to be at least the height of the doorway. She was as confident as ever, clearly. 

The buff guy said absolutely nothing in return, glancing to Riku and Naminè before nodding. Apparently, no actual guest list was needed. The buff bodyguard(?) guy stepped aside, opening the door for the three of them. “Everyone’s inside,” he said, eyeing Riku one last time. 

Kairi walked in first, grabbing ahold of her blonde friend’s hand and leading her inside. 

Riku couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable under this big guy’s stare but decided to pay it less attention than he usually would. Riku walked inside after Kairi and Naminè as the front door shut behind him. 

A creature of habit, Riku started to take his shoes off at the front door. 

Naminè, who seemed to have broken off from Kairi fairly quickly, stopped him with a gentle hand. “No one here cares, Riku. Everyone else is probably wearing their shoes inside. It’s okay.” 

That made Riku frown a little but he stopped taking off his shoes and followed Naminè further into the house.

They both walked through what seemed to be the living room first, witnessing some people dancing to the beat of some obscure instrumental remix. It was a little odd and Riku most certainly questioned the song choice in his head.

Riku ended up being so distracted by the music choice playing that he inevitably lost sight of Naminè and, with a quick glance, saw he couldn’t spot Kairi out of the decently large crowd. ‘Small party’ his pasty ass. 

However, despite losing the only two people he knew at this already cursed party, Riku wisely decided not to panic too much and tried to wander a little. He made it into the kitchen when he actually, miraculously, ran into someone he knew. 

“Aqua!” He found himself calling out to her before he could stop himself. 

Thankfully, her expression when she looked at him wasn’t one of total disgust. Instead, she pleasantly smiled and brought him over to where she was. 

“Riku! I would’ve never expected to see you at a party like this. Let me guess—”

“‘Kairi,’” they said at the same time. Riku laughed a little, letting the tense muscles in his shoulder relax as he started to finally feel a little comfortable for the first time since he got here.

Aqua handed him an empty solo cup as she spoke again. “Well, I hope you enjoy the party. It’s meant to be a comfy little gathering amongst friends. I should introduce you to the host at some point. He’s really nice.” She leaned in, smiling just a little wider. “And very cute.” 

Riku felt himself flush with heat, thankfully not because of any alcohol consumption.

“Hey Aqua,” a foreign voice called from behind Riku. 

He turned around to see another familiar face, Terra, along with someone unfamiliar to him. He had calming blue eyes and a nice shade of blonde hair that sort of framed his face. He was starkly short compared to Terra but it didn’t seem to bother him.

Riku quickly glanced back to Aqua, watching her smile brighten at the two boys. 

“Terra, Ven.” She walked over to them and faced Riku while at their side. “Riku, I know you know Terra but I’m not sure you’ve ever met Ven. Right?” 

Riku nodded his head and suddenly felt very dumb for holding an empty solo cup. 

The blonde stranger took the initiative, stepping forward and holding out his hand. He looked up at Riku with a smile on his face as he introduced himself. “I’m Ventus. But everybody calls me Ven.” 

Riku shook hands with Ven, trying his best not to look constipated as he smiled. He saw Ven briefly glance down and got a flurry of worried thoughts in his head. Was his fly unzipped? 

But no. Ven’s smile widened after glancing down and he chuckled a little. “Want me to get you a drink?”

Drink? Oh! Drink! Right, he had no drink. Riku glanced down at his empty cup a bit self-consciously before he nodded. “Yeah, that’d be great,” he managed to get out. 

With a nod, Ven took his empty solo cup and walked off in an unknown direction. 

Riku would’ve looked to where Ven was going but Terra walked right up to him, blocking his view. 

“It’s nice to see that you haven’t changed much, Riku. Still socially awkward as ever.” Terra performed his infamous Dad Hair Ruffles™ on Riku, messing up his hair quite a bit. 

In response, Riku punched him lightly in the gut with a soft laugh. 

“Nice to see you’re still a dick,” is how Riku responded to the comment, taking another harmless swing at Terra slow enough for him to dodge. They carried out the rest of their conversation normally, not dying down in rowdiness until Ven finally got back. 

Once he did, he handed Riku his now full cup with a calm smile. “I don’t really know what you like but you look like a champagne guy to me so I got you some.” He took a sip of his own drink that he now apparently had and waited for Riku’s response. 

Well, he wasn’t wrong. Riku quite liked a good glass of champagne. Riku smiled and nodded at Ven in thanks and took a hearty sip. Riku chewed at his bottom lip for his first drink of the night but quickly took another sip, enjoying it a lot more the second time around. He hummed appreciatively, looking at Ven. “What brand is this?”

Ven hummed, thinking for a second. “Laurent-perrier, I think,” he said, at which Riku’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

“Are you serious?” He looked at the bubbly liquid in his cup. “This is probably the most expensive alcohol I’ve ever had, then.” 

Looking amused, Ven glanced into the plastic cup. 

“Yeah? Mind if I try a sip?” 

At the notion, Riku remembered himself a little. He took a moment to realize that he was actually feeling pretty comfortable in Ven’s presence and felt a bit pleased with himself. However, in the moment, he must’ve looked taken aback because Ven backtracked. 

“Sorry—I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Ven rubbed the back of his head a little, smiling awkwardly. 

In a desperate moment, Riku sought out Aqua and Terra’s silent guidance, when he saw that his supposed friends had abandoned him _again._

Riku gulped down his bubbling nerves and shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Really. Go ahead and try it.” He almost thrusted the cup into Ven’s chest, making the expensive liquid slosh around. 

Ven tilted his head a little before shrugging. He took the cup from Riku and tipped his head back, drinking the champagne. Once he drank some, he lowered the cup and licked his lips with a hum. 

“Hey, that’s pretty good!” He laughed a little as he handed Riku the cup back. “I might have to go back and get some for myself later.” 

Riku nodded in agreement, holding the cup a little close and definitely feeling a bit nervous to take another sip from his cup ever again. 

A silence settled over the two, making Riku want to crawl out of his skin just a tiny bit. He took another sip of his champagne, licking the taste off his lips before chewing on his lower lip nervously. The odd instrumental remix music was pulsing rhythmically in the background and upon sneaking a glance, Riku saw Ven nodding his head to it. However, Riku snapped his gaze ahead of him when he saw Ven turning his head back towards him.

“Well, it was really really nice meeting you, Riku. I’m glad we finally met! Kairi’s talked about you a lot.” Riku paled even more, wondering what Kairi had said about him. It must’ve shown a lot because Ven laughed into his cup. “Nothing bad, Riku. Don’t worry.” 

Feeling a little relieved, Riku gave Ven a small smile. “Thanks. It was nice to meet you.” 

Ven nodded at him before walking over in the direction of the living room. 

Riku watched him leave, taking a hesitant sip of his drink before looking around. He stood around like an oaf for a solid five minutes, unsure of what to do with himself. He listened to the weird music around him, felt the alcohol pleasantly warming his stomach, smelled the beer mixed with pizza in the air. Riku actually wasn’t totally hating where he stood. Not much had happened so that was a plus. 

Suddenly, amongst the people chatting, there was a loud commotion coming from the room that branched off from the kitchen to its left. Riku looked to see what all the fuss was about but it felt like almost everyone from the dining room and living room was trying to fit into that offshoot room. Riku contemplated heading in the opposite direction, his introverted nature wanting to get the best of him, when his curiosity strangely triumphed and he headed towards the growing crowd. 

The crowd was going wild, a few people squabbling to get closer to whatever the hell was happening. Riku, amazingly, got pushed to the front and was faced with what was capturing everyone’s attention. 

Right in front of him was a ping pong table with two large groupings of red solo cups on either side. It was beer pong. They were playing beer pong. One team consisted of Ven wearing a completely different outfit beside a tall-ass redhead with purple face paint under his eyes. On the other side was someone he actually recognized, Kairi, alongside a stranger with short brown hair and deep sea blue eyes. Something more noticeable about the stranger was that he was wearing some sort of makeshift toga with a ripped up bedsheet with one of those greek leaf headband things resting on his head. 

Riku raptly watched the beer pong game, weirdly fixated on Kairi and the stranger beside her.

He tried to convince himself that he was just paying attention to Kairi the most because he hadn’t seen her in nearly half an hour but the excuse didn’t work on himself as well as his excuses usually did. He barely paid any attention to the actual game, staring mostly at the handsome stranger in the toga who was winning the game of beer pong almost expertly. 

He would get the ping pong ball in the opposing team’s cup then whoop with a monumental amount of glee that made Riku feel a different type of warm than the feeling of the champagne in his stomach. When the other team scored, he pouted. When he nailed a landing, he grinned widely. It was honestly amazing how this guy could switch from one expression to the other so easily. To be honest, it was extremely endearing. 

When the game was over, everyone cheered on the winning team, some slapping the toga-man on the back while others ruffled his hair. Kairi and the toga-guy hugged briefly, grinning so wide Riku was positive their faces would split, and fall off. Kairi went one way and the mystery toga-bearer the other. Riku had an urge to go after the cute guy in the toga but his social anxiety screamed at him to make some contact with Kairi after they’d been split up. Riku not-so-expertly weaved through the crowd until he managed to get ahold of Kairi’s wrist. 

“Kairi!” he said, a huge amount of relief clear in his voice. 

She looked shocked for a second before she smiled and put her arm around his waist. 

“Riku! Were you watching me kick Roxas and Axel’s asses? I was good, huh?” She bumped her hip against his leg and Riku smiled back at her.

“Yeah, you guys were real good.” He didn’t question the different use of Ven’s name in the moment but he’d be sure to later on. “I uh--who was that you were playing with?” He tried to not seem too eager for the information, sipping his drink and pretending to nonchalantly look around while, in actuality, he was really just avoiding her gaze. 

It didn’t work, though. With Kairi, it never did. She tightened her grip on his waist and shook him a little. “Uh-oooh. Rikuuuu, do you got the hots for someoneee?” She leered at him, shaking him back and forth. 

His face started to feel a little hot and he glared at her to show his disapproval of her behaviour. 

She continued to make that leery face of hers. “N’aww Riku! I’m so excited, you have no idea! I’m sure he’s gonna take to you real nicely.” 

“Okay, okay Kairi. Would you please just tell me his name?” Riku huffed into his cup before taking a sip. He felt Kairi hum beside him, the vibration going against him since their sides were pressed together. He looked at her after the sip and she simply looked content. Amused, even.

“No,” she said. 

No? No?? “Why no?” He asked a little frustratedly. He pulled away from her grasp to turn fully towards her. 

She crossed her arms, still looking amused. 

“Because, my fine feathered friend.” She jabbed Riku in the chest, a smirk evident on her face. “I want you to approach him yourself. No help from me _or_ Naminè.” 

Well, shit. There went Riku’s plans of approaching the mystery man. Now he had no clue what he was going to do because his plan solely relied on Kairi introducing them. The only plan Riku had now was to retreat and sulk off somewhere by himself. That sounded like a solid plan. 

Sighing a bit forlornly, Riku downed the rest of his champagne and pouted. “I’m going to get more,” he mumbled to Kairi. He turned away from her smirking face and dragged his feet back to the kitchen. Once there, he realized he didn’t actually know where Ven got the champagne and settled on some really shitty looking canned beer. He opened it up, took a swig, and ambled his way around the house until he found somewhere he could sulk.

He eventually found a perfect candidate when he finally stumbled upon the stairs leading up to the second floor. Determined to be alone, Riku started the trip upstairs, catching his foot on one or two steps in the process. He nearly fell on his face twice on the way up but once he was there, he felt accomplished. He glanced around the upper floor, gauging where to go next when he saw an open door. Open door meant open opportunity to hide out until the party was over.

Riku quietly made his way over there, gently pushing the door open as he walked into the dark room. He blindly walked around for a bit, feeling the objects around the room so he didn’t bump into anything. However, he greatly misjudged the location of the small sofa in the outermost corner of the room. He dropped his beer and felt some of it splatter on his face as he gracelessly tumbled over the furniture and onto the ground. Everything was aching. Riku groaned loudly, unwilling to now get up and face the consequences of his dumb actions.

Apparently, though, he was going to have to because while he was lying on the ground in pain, he heard someone’s voice from somewhere in the room. 

“Hello? Who’s there?” 

While he didn’t want to, Riku forced himself upright. He looked around the room for the source of the voice but saw no one, obviously, in the pitch black.

“Hello?” He called out warily, standing up. Riku stumbled away from the cursed furniture when he heard the stranger’s voice again. This time Riku recognized that it was a male voice and that it was, in fact, not in the room but coming from the balcony attached to the room. 

“Roxas?” The voice called. 

Riku blindly stumbled to the open balcony, following the voice. Once he got there, he stopped dead in his tracks by the doorway. Right in front of him was none other than mystery toga-man. 

The guy in question looked more than a little shocked, staring back at Riku from where he was leaning against the balcony. “You’re not Roxas,” he stated the obvious, which was completely fine. “And you’re soaked! What happened?” The mystery toga-man walked up to Riku with confusion pushing down his eyebrows. He reached out to touch Riku—Riku noticed he had small hands— and felt the spilled beer on his face. 

“I fell.” Riku shifted on his feet awkwardly, highly aware of how much a fool he made of himself.

“Ohhh so that thumping I just heard was you?” The cute stranger smiled good-naturedly, tilting his head. 

Riku nodded mutely, unable to say anything without also screaming at the proximity. 

The stranger laughed a little and grabbed ahold of Riku’s arm, pulling him out more onto the balcony. “Here, I’ll wipe the beer off your face. Not much I can do for your clothes, though.” The stranger guided Riku to sit down in a lawn chair and lifted up the end of his makeshift toga. 

Riku’s eyes widened, which the stranger apparently noticed because he yanked up his toga to reveal a pair of black shorts. 

“Relax, I’m decent.” He then pulled the bedsheet up and started wiping at Riku’s face. Riku honestly just let it happen, brain kinda short circuiting at this point. Riku sat there, blank faced. 

“I’m Sora by the way. What’s your name?” Sora looked Riku in the eyes when he was done being a good person and Riku felt his already steaming face get hotter. Hopefully, or not, Sora would think he was just drunk. 

Riku stood when Sora walked to the edge of the balcony, running a hand through his hair. 

“Riku,” was how he introduced himself. Great going, Riku. Way to impress him. “I-I’m a friend of Kairi’s.” There. Hopefully, that was better. 

Sora actually looked a little surprised, turning his head to stare at Riku with those big blue eyes. 

“Wait, you’re Kairi’s friend?” He did a full once over of Riku, hand on his chin. “I vaguely remember her mentioning you but to be honest, I’ve had three glasses of wine. So, who knows what I remember.” Sora shrugged easily before looking back out ahead of him. 

Riku hesitantly joined in the view, leaning against the railing beside Sora. Now that Sora mentioned it, Riku did now notice the deep flush riddled across his cheeks and the glassy look in his eyes. He knew that feeling for sure. 

Feeling sociable, Riku decided to pry a little. “So what’s your connection to this party?” he asked. “Do you know the host?” Which, oddly, made Sora laugh. Riku didn’t see what was so funny. 

Sora actually laughed himself to the point of near tears and he quickly wiped them away as they appeared. “Well, I sure hope I do!” he barely managed to get out before he had another laughing fit and Riku had to be honest, even though he had no idea why Sora was laughing so much, he found it cute as all hell. Sora seemed to quickly catch on to Riku’s blank-faced confusion because his laughter died down and he smiled directly at Riku. “This just so happens to be my party, Riku.” 

And now Riku was going to go die in a hole somewhere. 

He tried his best to think of an excuse, scrambling and grasping at straws, but came up empty-handed so all he managed were garbled ‘uhhs’ and ‘ahhs.’ Finally, his brain started working again and he ducked his head. “...Sorry,” he muttered, lips twisting into an embarrassed frown.

“Hey, no worries, Riku. It makes sense why you wouldn’t have known I was the host. You came by extended invitation from Kairi and Naminè, after all. No biggie.” 

Riku was _really_ liking the way his name sounded from Sora’s mouth. 

“Still, though, I should’ve figured it out somehow. I don’t know why I never asked Kairi or Naminè beforehand.” Riku ran his hand through his hair again, forcing the strands to fall into his face. Out of his peripherals, he saw Sora’s shoulders jerk up in a shrug. They fell into a comfortable silence for a moment. Well, Sora looked pretty comfortable but all Riku felt was antsy. He started playing with a lone strand of his hair nervously, thinking about what to say next. Think, think, think. “It’s pretty cool that you hired your own bouncer up front,” was what Riku ended up blurting out. Not half bad, Riku.

Sora laughed that beautiful bell chime of a laugh. “That would’ve been _very_ cool. I didn’t technically hire him, though. He’s one of my friend’s friends and volunteered to be the bouncer for tonight. Very kind. He takes his job very seriously.” Sora nodded firmly, putting on this goofy looking serious face.

Riku snorted. “Yeah, I can see that. He gave me a real nasty stare when I arrived.” Riku could see Sora raise an eyebrow, goofy-looking serious face melting into a grin. 

“Aeleus did that? Damn, I really underestimated him.” Sora stood up straight, turning himself away from Riku and leaning down to grab something from a bucket that Riku hadn’t noticed up until now. Sora straightened back up and offered a nicer looking brand of canned beer, though it was beer so how much better could it really be? 

Riku took it anyways and opened it up, taking a sip. Sora did the same.

After Riku took a swig, he exhaled. Yeah, that was pretty good. “Thanks,” he said contentedly as he leaned further on the balcony railing. 

Sora hummed appreciatively, taking a swig out of his own can and sighing as well. Time passed for a while with the two of them just drinking their beer when Riku, amazingly, broke the silence with his curiosity. “So, how do you know so many people? This is a pretty big party.” 

Sora hummed at first in response, chewing on his lip as he momentarily frowned in thought. 

“I’m a fairly social person so I keep lots of people close by me. I make friends with people easily so I, by extension, make friends with others’ friends and my circle kind of just grows. It’s kind of like with Aeleus. Aeleus is friends with my brother’s friend and it’s pretty much all history after that.” Sora waved his hands fancifully, looking ahead of him as he spoke. 

Riku watched him with rapt attention. Riku, at that point in time, decided that Sora was too cute for his own good. Riku could die by Sora’s cuteness. And yes, he was most certainly aware was probably wrong to think of an adult as cute but he couldn’t help it! Sora’s mannerisms, from they way he spoke to the way he moved, were just so damn endearing. Riku was so caught up in his homosexual dilemma that he didn’t realize Sora had asked him something. He blinked back into current existence and stared at Sora. 

“Huh? Sorry, what?” Sora laughed good-naturedly _yet again_ and repeated himself for Riku’s chaotic internal disaster. 

“I asked how long you’ve known Kairi,” he reiterated. Now, that was a thought. How long he’d known Kairi…

“Well, we basically grew up together, I guess.” Maybe it was the champagne plus the two cans of beer, but Riku ended up blurting out a lot more than he meant to. “I’m...not good at expressing myself. At all. Up until twelfth grade, I only really knew Kairi, Aqua and Terra. Naminè only came into the picture when I started college so I haven’t known her for that long.” The words came surprisingly easy to Riku in the moment. One could say he was a very honest drunk. 

Sora hummed after Riku abruptly stopped talking about himself. 

Riku drunkenly watched Sora sip some beer before sighing. 

“Well, if this is any consolation...” He turned his head to look Riku directly in the eyes. He smiled warmly. “I don’t think you’re that bad at it.” 

And as soon as Riku heard Sora say it, he got this sharp tingle up and down his spine. He straightened a little at the feeling, now getting a ton of butterflies participating in a mosh pit in his stomach. What was that? Riku suddenly got all tingly when Sora gave him that look. Now, it was well known that Riku was’t really the sociable type at all, but he did get _some_ body language and nuances. He mostly just didn’t know what to do with himself once they occurred.

Spinning off of that, Riku was picking up some strange vibes from Sora all of a sudden. Not bad, per se, but definitely new to their budding acquaintanceship. Riku mentally tried to read social signs of the past thirty seconds and read as much as he could from Sora’s behaviour and it wasn’t quite lining up for him. The way Riku was reading into it, it felt almost...flirty. But that was just it, wasn’t it? He was reading too much into the situation and probably just getting it all wrong. There was a large space for margin of error, here. Yeah, it was probably nothing like that. 

And now Riku was realizing he’d been thinking for too long and needed to figure out something to say. He cleared his throat awkwardly, eyes casting downwards in an attempt to regain himself. “I uh...thanks.” He fumbled for words but thankfully, miracuously, recovered more quickly than usual. He heard Sora let out a hum and started to think maybe Sora was just good at discerning him.

Riku quickly took another sip of his now lukewarm beer, waiting for something to say. 

Sora beat him to it, though. “You know, I’m glad I got to meet you tonight, Riku. Talking to you is...like a breath of fresh air.” Sora turned to him fully, still leaning against the railing. 

Riku forced himself to do the same, looking Sora directly in the eyes. He felt the tingles up his spine once again as their eyes meet. “Do you mind if we switch numbers? I’d really love to get to know you more.” 

Hold on. Riku momentarily malfunctioned. “What?” he asked, pretty sure he’d heard wrong over his tipsy haze. 

Sora _giggled_ at that. All light hearted and airy. 

Riku would know, he saw him light up with his own two 20/20 vision eyes. 

Riku watched Sora take a quick sip of his own beer and remembered that he had some in his hand. Might as well take advantage of that liquid courage. 

Sora licked his lips before reiterating himself. “Can I get your number?” he asked, suddenly sounding more straightforward than before. Did he say something different before? 

Riku didn’t really remember now though he guessed it might not matter anymore. 

His face started to warm up at Sora’s words but he managed to give Sora a nod of confirmation in the middle of his crisis. He gulped heavily and stood up straight to dig around his pockets for his phone. Once finding it, he clumsily handed it over to Sora, who simply smiled and handed Riku his own phone which was open and in the Contacts app. “Oh,” he breathed. “Mm...my password is two...mmm four...six-O-one.” He pointed at his phone in Sora’s hands, missing where it was by five centimetres before putting his phone number in the name of the contact. His alcohol infested mind told him he was done and he turned Sora’s phone off, handing it back to him. He got his own phone back and pocketed it, feeling satisfied with himself. He leaned back on the railing lazily, staring out at the city ahead of him.

Beside him, he heard Sora’s laugh go off quietly beside him. He was barely able to hear Sora whisper something and he frowned a little, leaning towards him. “What was that?” he asked loudly. “I didn’t hear you.” He wobbled on his unstable feet a little, clutching onto the railing desperately. He peeked over at Sora not-so-subtly and saw him lean in. 

“Wanna hear something, Riku?” 

“I like how you say my name.”

“Well, _I_ like how cute you are.” 

Maybe it was the lack of alcohol tolerance that made him so open, or maybe it was Sora for being so bold. But either way, Riku turned to look at Sora and found their faces impossibly close. Riku’s eyes openly flitted down to Sora’s lips right in front of him. A part of him was all _oh no, he saw that_ but the stronger side couldn’t care less. Once he looked up from Sora’s lips, electricity snapped their gazes into connection like a magnet. 

They were staring for what seemed like forever when finally they both leaned closer, both closed their eyes, and pressed their lips together softly. Riku drunkenly feared he’d start melting on the floor but he leaned more into the softness pressing against his own lips and his arms twitched in the air with nothing to do. 

It was when Sora’s smaller hands were pulling and placing Riku’s hands around his waist that Riku finally let go of the last bit of his hesitancy and fully committed to the kiss. Their lips softly moulded together as they move them. They followed the same motion of squeeze and release, tilting their heads slightly when the time called for it. He felt a vibration against his lips during the fact, making him hum back delightfully in response. He felt the coolness of Sora’s arms around his neck that brought the kiss way deeper than before. They kept doing that for what could be decades and Riku would honestly be none the wiser. They stayed like that for a good amount of time before Sora was the one to pull away first.

Riku’s eyes snapped to Sora’s and they shared the dramatic moment together. Minutes passed of just them staring at each other when Sora was the one to pull himself together. 

He looked flushed, though Riku’s drunk mind chimed in that it didn’t think it was because of any alcohol. To that, Riku told his brain to shut up for once. In response, Riku’s brain smacked him with the inhibition of staring at Sora’s greek-reminiscent headband.

“Why’re you wearing that?” he mumbled the question he’d been wondering for half the night. Sora’s eyes flitted up as if he were attempting to see the crown on his head. With a smile, he shrugged and looked back at Riku. 

“I dunno. It felt like the right attire for my party tonight. ‘Living the greek life’ right?” 

“Mmm I don’ think you’re referring to that correctly.”

Sora pouted cutely. “No?”

“Nah. Not ‘nless your house is a fraternity or somethin’.” 

A disappointed sigh. “Aw man…” By now, the lingering tension between them was long gone. The nippy air was choking out Riku’s lungs progressively, forcing drowsiness by deep breaths. 

Riku caught hold of the railing, needing to steady his sway. “Mm, well I thin’ you look great innit anyw’ys.” He got awfully close to Sora’s face once again, staring into those enthralling crystal blue eyes. He sank further and further into the depths of their waves, feeling like a sailor falling mercy to a siren. He was being pulled and tugged and yanked further and further until—

Riku opened his eyes. Almost immediately assaulted by light, he grunted and squeezed them shut again. He stayed like that, unmoving. He chanced moving his fingers around, bunching up soft-feeling fabric around them. He clenched a fist around the material, fidgeting around with his legs. His toes were running along his fluffy throw blanket that felt so haphazardly thrown on top of him. He finally moved his entire body, turning over to one side. His cheek met the softness of a pillow and he was inclined to nuzzle into it and just go back to sleep. But before he even got the chance to, he suddenly got the massive urge to vomit. He jolted out of bed, not helping the accompanying headache he was receiving, and hightailed it towards his bathroom immediately.

This was what he got for going to the party, he guessed. Everything was coming back to him in bits and pieces but everything was coming back into place as he hovered over the toilet. The bodyguard Aeleus, meeting Ventus, the game of beer pong, the balcony scene, the kiss— 

Holy shit, he kissed a stranger while completely plastered. Yet, he remembered all of it.

When his stomach turned for what should’ve been the fifth time, someone entered into the room but didn’t walk any closer. He mustered the energy to quickly look, just in case the off chance it was a murderer or something. He was chastised by another headache and groaned. “Kairi…” he muttered miserably.

Kairi managed to muster a look of sympathy amongst her vivid disgust. “Riku, honey…” she said kindly. “You smell and look like shit. Take a shower.” 

Not surprised but still offended, Riku weakly flipped her off, turning his head and vomiting up the rest of his guts once more. 

Honestly, Riku didn’t think he could make it to the shower without spilling out more of his guts. Though he wondered absentmindedly if he has anything left _to_ throw up. Probably not considering he didn’t eat much at the party last night. 

He opted to stay where he was, planning to weakly hold his own against his hangover. He just stayed where he was, head half hung in the disgusting bowl of his bile which he was too sick to be disgusted by. 

Hearing a sigh, Riku felt Kairi wrapping her arms underneath his shoulders and around. She started hauling him to the bathtub, dragging his dead weight. 

“C’mon, you big baby,” she muttered. “Time to start your day.”

* * *

A week had passed since the party. On the dot, actually. The Saturday after the dreaded Party That Shall Not Be Named. Riku sure didn’t want to think about it, but Kairi and Naminè insisted otherwise.

“Ohhh and Axel helped Roxas with swinging on the chandelier! It was great.” Kairi sat back on Riku’s couch, waving her free hand as she talked while the other one held onto a can of cider. 

Naminè held her own drink in both her hands, legs folded underneath her from where she sat on the floor. She laughed behind her cocktail glass and took a sip. 

“Yeah, I remember that. I can’t believe you encouraged them!” The two girls gossiped amongst each other, making Riku miserable without even trying. 

Riku did his best tune out but it proved to be pretty ineffective. With a sigh, he stood up without so much as a word and headed to the front door. 

“Riku, you fox! Where do you think you’re going?!” Kairi called to him from his living room. Not a second later, Riku heard her squawk awkwardly and the sound of her cider can falling to the floor with a dull, metal thud. 

Rather than heaving another sigh, Riku slipped on his sneakers and pulled on his jacket. “I’m going to Mac’s to grab some snacks. Want anyth—” 

“Ha! That rhymed—” 

“— _Want anything?_ ” 

“I want bugles! Oh, aaand one of those cold starbucks mocha drinks.” 

“Could you grab me an aloe vera drink, Riku? And dill pickle chips?”

Honestly, what response were you actually expecting, Riku? Not much. “Yeah, I’ll grab ‘em.” Sounding as miserable as always, Riku turned and opened the door to his apartment and left. As he shut the door, he heard both girls holler goodbyes at him. With the click of his locked door, he set off to the convenience store.

In sullen steps, he brooded over the complete waste of two Saturdays in a row. First the…and now Kairi and Naminè invading his living space as they pleased. In a moment of utter bitterness, he remarked to himself he should get new friends but then he guiltily took it back. Kairi and Naminè were his only friends for a reason. He was broody and negative and scared people off just by staring at them. Not exactly Best Friend Material. 

Plus, he was lucky to have Kairi and Naminè as his friends. They got him and they pushed him to do new things and to step out of his comfort zone sometimes and he appreciated that. They were outgoing in places he was not. It was like they completed the missing pieces of his puzzle. 

Arriving at Mac’s, now with a clearer mind, Riku quietly entered the store and started his search. He first picked up the snacks his friends asked him for then went on to grab the food items he was looking for. He made his way to the extra spicy chips he loved and grabbed a party pack, then grabbed a bag of lollipops and a quaint-looking bottle of cream soda. Riku turned away from the drink section, letting the door shut behind him when he ran into a smaller person in front of him. He cursed softly, having no way to help up the person he knocked over due to the armful of junk food gathered in his arms. 

“I’m sorry, are you okay?” he called over the pile, trying to glance around the items. 

The victim of his clumsiness huffed a laugh from the floor. 

“Yeah, man. Just chilling on the dirty floor. No biggie.” Ouch.

“I really am very sorry. I would help you up but my hands are…” Riku trailed off, thinking that his current situation was pretty obvious with just a glance. 

The stranger laughed again. They seemed to laugh easily, Riku inwardly remarked.

There was a small amount of shuffling in front of Riku and all of a sudden, some of the bags in his arms were taken away. Considering he couldn’t do much, he just stood there awkwardly as this stranger took some of his burden away. Riku saw the hands before he saw the face, which was odd. 

The stranger’s surprisingly small hands grabbed half of his stuff, revealing who this mystery victim truly was. Riku could not have predicted this in a million years. 

“Sora?” His voice cracked as he uttered the name he’d wanted to throw into the pile of forgotten memories only a few minutes ago. 

Sora’s eyes snapped to his in a heartbeat and now suddenly their eyes were interlocked into a conversation without any words. 

Riku almost dropped the rest of his haul. 

“Oh my god,” Sora breathed out. 

Riku watched as he hugged the food in his arms like a lifeline. 

Sora looked disheveled, with cute grey sweats and tired bags under his eyes, yet somehow he still looked just as appealing as he did last week at the party. “Riku! I—I have so much to tell you! Oh wow, okay, uhhh I’ll help you bring this to the cashier!” Before Riku had any time to say anything, Sora was scurrying over to the cash register and he was already piling on the items he took from Riku.

Riku spaced out a little. He was having a hard time catching up to reality right now and his anxiety wasn’t making it any easier. His eyes glided up and down Sora’s body, surprised by the lack of flashiness in his outfit considering his attire the last time he saw him. He still looked good, though.

Focus, Riku, focus.

Riku followed behind Sora belatedly, stumbling forward with his remaining items. He reached over Sora’s head and placed them on the counter. He saw Sora glance up at him at an awkward angle, craning his neck so he was looking at Riku upside down which couldn’t be a flattering angle to see Riku at. Yikes.

WIth a little awkward smile, Riku looked over at the cashier then glanced away to look at the total. It wasn’t there, yet. Right. He just set the items down. Nice going, Riku. 

“So, uh, Riku.” 

Riku glanced back down at Sora, staring at the top of his head. He had nice hair. 

“It’s been a while.” Sora stated the obvious, making Riku wonder why he even bothered with the statement. 

“Yeah…” He wasn’t sure whether to feel regret or contempt. Regret for not reaching out to Sora first and contempt for Sora seeming so casual about ghosting him this entire week. It could’ve worked either way, in all honesty.

However, Riku decided regret was more familiar and tucked his head under the sand. His mouth remained shut for a moment, swallowing and regurgitating mouthfuls of unspoken words. His voice felt stolen and tortured. He should say something. Anything.

“Seventeen eighty is your total. Will that be cash or credit?” inquired the cashier. 

Riku’s eyes fell to the employee, sinking deeper into his habit of assessing strangers. 

The cashier met his gaze, smiled, and glanced down at his items. Right. He was purchasing things right now.

“C-cash,” he stuttered (damn it) and fumbled with his wallet for a moment while trying to pull out the wanted cash. No longer holding it for ransom, Riku handed the cashier the money and watched her pull out a plastic bag. Out of habit, Riku stopped her. “It’s okay,” he muttered. “I don’t need a bag.”

Ignoring the cashier’s initial shock and Sora’s blatant stare, Riku put his wallet away and attempted to gather his goods. A particularly smaller, tanner hand stopped his left arm, setting it on fire. 

A bell chime rang out in the form of Sora’s laugh. “Riku, let me carry some of that.” 

Riku watched Sora grab some of his stuff in slight bewilderment. This was not happening. Days of RIku anxiously banging his head against his wall waiting for Sora’s messages were not blown away by his acts of kindness. Goddammit. 

“Let’s walk and talk, shall we?” 

Having started a premature breakdown, Riku’s eyes snapped to Sora’s where he heard his voice last. He stood at the door, smiling back at Riku as he held the door open.

Grabbing the rest of his purchases, Riku muttered a barely audible thanks to the cashier and headed out the front door. Once out, they walked out of the parking lot and down the pavement in awkward, strangling silence. Over it was the rushing sound of the cars passing by them on the road, with the occasional honk here and there in the distance. Riku was getting so consumed by his anxious worrying that he was zoning in on the sound the bags of chips made as they walked with them. The disturbingly loud crinkling seemed to trump all other noises for a moment and Riku glared at the chips in Sora’s hands. 

Suddenly, a hand came between him and his staring match rival and Riku stopped walking altogether. 

He then understood that Sora had been trying to get his attention but noticed how laser-focused he was on the offensive chip bag. 

“What were you looking at, Riku?” 

Riku got dazzled by Sora’s smile, making him practically incoherent, as he adjusted his grip on the food in his hand. In his mind, he had told him he was looking at him and his smile but in a million different ways, that was a bad idea. He settled for telling the slightly embarrassing truth. 

“I got distracted by the noise of the chips…” 

Surprisingly, Sora laughed. “Are they very interesting? What did you buy, anyway?” He looked down at the bag he was holding, clearly trying to read it upside down. 

To lessen his suffering, Riku helped him. 

“Those are just bugles. I went out to get snacks and was assigned the task of getting everyone something.” Riku held up the purchased items in his own arms, pointing out the things that weren’t meant for him. 

Sora nodded in understanding, looking back ahead of them quickly as he almost ran into another person. After dodging a bullet, Sora hummed.

“That’s very noble of you.” He nodded very seriously, hugging the food to his chest. “And to be honest, I didn’t think all of this was just for you. You don’t really seem the type to pig out on food.”

Riku pondered that, making a face. “What makes you think that?” he asked curiously. 

With a shrug, Sora looked back at Riku. 

“I dunno. Just something about your demeanour that tells me so.”

They spent the rest of the walk back to Riku’s house chatting up a storm. Not necessarily resolving the underlying issue at hand, but definitely getting to know each other better. Riku learned that Sora was a sibling of four and that Ven and Roxas were actually identical for some odd reason. He learned that Sora made friends with others ridiculously fast. Which was totally unfair but also made total sense. Charisma naturally came with making lots of friends. Still though, Sora seemed to have an even stronger knack for it. 

Eventually, they made it back to Riku’s place and he realized that was when they’d have to part ways. Riku was more than a little bummed, especially considering he’d just spent a week of his life agonizing over the existence of this boy. He questioned if he had been played with, if he had been lead on, but the big problem with that was he’d had Sora’s number this entire week but had been too scared to reach out. Ultimately, this was Riku’s fault. 

But he wanted things to change. He knew he couldn’t go any longer the way he did, ducking his head in the sand at confrontation. He had to change if he wanted to accomplish anything substantial in life. He had to take a risk.

Painfully, Riku looked at Sora as they walked up to his door. He cleared his throat, which didn’t really need clearing at all, and breathed out carefully. “Um...Sora? Do you want to...come inside for a little bit?” 

Sora’s expression changed into one of surprise and naturally, Riku panicked. “Well, that is, if you’re not busy or anything because I _do_ have some friends over right now but they’re _really_ nice and I’m pretty sure you know Kairi but—”

“Riku!”

Riku jumped only slightly, hugging the food items closer. 

Sora’s smile turned lopsided and he almost looked sheepish. “I’d like that. If we hung out for a bit, I mean.” 

Riku couldn’t help but stare at Sora and his breathtaking smile. “Oh,” he breathed out. A sweetly sour feeling gathered in his cheeks, warming just a bit as he tried not to smile. He fought off the urge and turned to open the door. It felt like the hair at the back of his neck was standing straight up in attention. It was as if he knew Sora was staring at him from behind. “I’m back!” he called out shakily. 

“Heyyyy Rikuuuu!”

“Welcome back!”

Riku slipped his shoes off at the front, pushing one shoe off after the other with the opposing foot, and headed to the living room to deliver the goods. 

Kairi and Naminè seemed to have settled on glasses water since he last saw them. The towel on his carpet that had mysteriously appeared did not meet blind eyes, but Riku just didn’t have the energy to scold them in that moment. Sora’s presence was weighing heavily on him, mind and soul. He felt more than a little nervous but did his best to not let it show. 

Kairi looked to Riku but then smiled widely at Sora’s appearance. “Soooraaa! It’s nice to see you! We haven’t talked since the party.” 

Sora waved at her excitedly. 

A halting and jarring silence followed suit as Riku watched something knowing wash over Kairi’s face. She stood up suddenly, grabbing at Naminè’s wrist and tugging. “Well! I just realized something soooo Naminè and I will be on the rooftop lounge! Waiting. Fooorrr nothing at all. Bye!” She slammed the door behind her, and Riku was left with a stifling silence 

Riku fiddled with his pants, glancing everywhere but the subject at hand. He jerkily walked into his kitchenette and set down the food. The weighing topic walked behind him and followed suit. Riku could barely breathe. 

Now both he and The Issue At Hand stood in the kitchen, unsure of what to do or say now that they were truly alone in Riku’s apartment. Riku drummed nervously against the marble countertop, finding slight peace in the coolness of it. He glanced to the clock above his sink them back at his drumming hands. He wasn’t sure how much time slipped by during the silence he was marginally aware of when time stopped as Sora placed his hand over Riku’s, effectively ceasing his drumming. 

“Can we talk? Like, properly?”

Riku was immediately inclined to say no, and Sora must’ve heard him think this because he leaned into his eyesight and gave him a serious Look. 

“ _I_ think we should.” 

Damn him. Damn Sora’s gaze and his sincerity and _all_ of him. 

Riku gulped down a lump in his throat, preparing for the words he was likely to hear from Sora. _‘It was a mistake. I was drunk and not in my right mind. I’m not actually into you.’_ It hurt Riku to think about those words but he knew them, as inevitable as they always were. He regretted ever going to the party and _ever_ kissing Sora. He regretted ever going to that damn party. 

Riku nodded softly, shaking his hair in his face. 

Sora stayed like that, staring at him hard, before he nodded back and walked out of Riku’s kitchen. Riku waited a second, hoping to alleviate the hurt of what’s to come by anticipating what Sora will say. Eventually, he left the kitchen and met Sora in his living room. 

Sora sat on the couch politely, looking around and taking in his surroundings. 

If Riku were an optimist, he would suspect thoughts blue eyes to be almost intrigued and curious but no, Sora was simply observing where he was, as was his right. 

Riku stiffly sat down beside him, fingers running along the couch. 

Sora settled his gaze on Riku once again and the latter felt like a book ripped bare. Those blue eyes—they tore Riku apart inside. It was almost as though he could have crumbled to rubble under the pressure. Riku had no idea how he must’ve looked in Sora’s eyes right now, but it couldn’t have been good. He probably looked twitchy.

“Riku,” Oh god, oh god. “I really wanted to say—” ‘ _It was a mistake. I was drunk and not in my right mind. I’m not actually into you.’_ “—that I’m so, so sorry for not contacting you this entire week.

My memory of that night is kind of spotty. I knew your face but couldn’t even remember your name. I thought to check my phone but I couldn’t find it. I know it sounds like I’m making up excuses, I know that, but I really do wanna make it up to you—”

With a huff, Riku slumped over, head landing on Sora’s shoulder. Sora paused in his rambling, mouth clamping shut. Riku heaved a big sigh of relief. 

“You have no idea how anxious I’ve been this entire week. I _know_ I could’ve messaged you first but I was too scared to and my thoughts kept getting to me and--and Kairi wouldn’t help me at all. I guess that’s what I get for relying on her too much.” Everything just came spilling out from Riku, he couldn’t help it. The dam of feelings and thoughts that held him back broke in a rush of repose, the tension in his shoulders releasing him from their strings. “But I wanted to. I wanted to see you again after that night because you make me feel at ease and it’s really...really nice.”

There was a pause and, like a flood, Riku’s anxiety backhanded him in the face. He straightened back up, pale cheeks filling with red. Sora was staring at him openly, face holding shock. He didn’t say anything for a moment and Riku was _really_ starting to regret ever opening his big, dumb mouth, when Sora smiled. He smiled that same damn dazzling smile and Riku nearly melted.

“That was quite the confession there, Riku.” Sora laughed a little, making Riku feel hot under his gaze, and Sora’s eyes softened. “I like that.”

Riku gulped quickly, fingers twitching and fiddling with his pants. “Does that mean you…?” 

“I’m pretty sure you know the answer, Riku. It’s there in that noggin of yours.” Sora knocked on Riku’s head playfully, smile growing into a bright grin. “Let’s get along from now on.”

To that, Riku smiled. Riku smiled such a relaxed smile that he hadn’t known he could make in a long time. His anxiety felt at peace, pleasantly staying dormant. He knew he hadn’t seen the last of his anxiety, but he was going to enjoy its vacation for as long as he could. 

“Yeah. I’d like that, Sora.”


End file.
